Why i am here????

Hi to all bloggers who would visit my blog...Infact this is my debut blogging, though i have tried my hands on writing some notes in social networking sites. I am trying this technique of writing down the feelings that i am going through, as i am not in to the habit of penning a diary. I want to see a new world, or rather to put it in clear terms, would like to see the world differently. As the saying goes "Don't do different things...try doing things differently", i would like to look at the society from a different perspective. To put things clear, i lost my wonderful daughter named MANASVINI, meaning....one who satisfies and reciprocates according to your feelings even without mouthing it. It was the name suggested to me by Goddess LALITHA, when i was chanting her 1008 names on an auspicious Friday. So decided to name my daughter after Her. Having said that, my daughter was truely brought up the similar way Arjun's son Abhimanyu was taught the tactics of Chakravyuha in the greatest Indian epic MAHABHARATHA....my little angel, li'l princess as i would call her was also moulded by me in the womb. I would wake up to the chants of RUDRAM and CHAMAKAM and in the evenings used to listen and sing HANUMAN CHAALISA and LALITHA SAHASRANAMAM, daily. This was my routine during my pregnancy and this continued even after her birth. The moment she is restless...the chanting of RUDRAM  would calm her down. She had her lullabies in HANUMAN CHAALISA....ok why am i narrating all that i did to her when she was alive both inside and outside me???????

....because i want all you readers to know that i believe strongly that whatever you see, listen and speak while carrying a child, would reflect in the wellbeing of the child and so in the way the child grows on in their life....so coming back to answer my question.. i want more friends...by which i mean that i don''t want people who do not understand the respect for others. I want to make friends from mutual bloggers who share a same tragedy as me...not only that.... i want to live life as WHO I AM AND WHAT I AM. There were times that i had lived as a daughter, a wife, a sister, a daughter-in-law and many such avatars in the past and some even continues even till my last...but i want to live life for myself....i want to search for my identity...a person who was always seen with a smile on her face, who knew not what it is to be without fun....i want to see the ME that i have lost....ofcourse, i would like to search for the reason behind my identity as a MOTHER .......