It's been a long time since i blogged about the relationship i celebrate with my little angel. There has a sudden turn of events and things are not going the way we plan. So letting things happen their way and accepting life as it comes, we are leading our day to day routine in a more sober manner. Due to this, my angel never visited me in the past one month. I was very much worried, as whenever i think from my heart, she would definitely bless me with her visit. This failed to happen in the past few weeks and this was my main worry. There were days that i forgot to get a morning glimpse of her... she usually welcomes my morning by blessing me with the chirpy sparrows flying before me. Chiding myself, i went to bed. Unable to catchup a peaceful sleep i was tossing left and right and the scenes where she suffered a lot, were flashing in my memory. I couldn't help but cry out loud in the middle of the night, troubling my husband to worry a lot.
Even after continuous requests from him, i was not consoling myself and rather adding fuel to the fire was my closely shut lips. I was unable to express to him as to what was going in my mind.. i was speechless for sometime and then came back to senses to narrate what i was going through. This brought anger in him that he scolded me to behave myself, as she is around us, watching our actions from up above. After about 10-15 mins i was able to control my emotions and was talking to her, pleading to visit me in my dream. To get some rest, i downed a glass of water and went to bed. Until the wee hours, i was in a disturbed state of mind, aware of the tossing and turning in bed. Woke up early in the morning and requested her to please visit me atleast once. With this internal-vibrational conversation with her i again went to bed.
It was some festival time at home and my mother was busy decorating the doorway with traditional rangoli. My father was busy receiving some old school mates of mine. The main door is totally damaged and am enquiring about it. This school mate, enquires about my child and passes his condolences to me. Worried about her loss, i don't care to talk to him too much, as i did not wish to rewind the sad past. I join my mother in her rangoli and return indoors for some food preparation. Here i see my daughter lying in the centre table amidst the chaos that is surrounding her. She is laid in a white loin cloth and sleeping after a lot of cajoling and pampering. Suddenly she jolts herself from sleep to the voice of her great grandmother, who is chanting some slokas. I scold my granma for chanting mantras so loud, the she woke up my daughter. Usually quiet and calm granma, shouts back at me and my daughter, thinking that she would pacify her back to sleep. To this, my angel pukes some milk, that she had before going to sleep. So i lift her to pacify and immediately she regurgitates all the food that she had had. I am so worried as she was already suffering from a bad cold and am pleading my mom to do so home remedies to stop this.
I am crying for help as my baby is in trouble. I cry out loud, that i woke myself from this beautiful dream of mine. I call this beautiful, as my daughter visited me. She has answered my request and also have proven to me that she is with me now. I am not going to worry hereafter about her well being, as she is in me and with me and my husband. Am yet to tell this to my husband, who only knows that my lil angel visited me in my dream. She has assured me once again that she never fails to be by my side, whenever i am in trouble and distress. Thank you darling, for you keep proving yourself that you are watching us and guiding us, even when this bad mama forgets to think about you.
Even after continuous requests from him, i was not consoling myself and rather adding fuel to the fire was my closely shut lips. I was unable to express to him as to what was going in my mind.. i was speechless for sometime and then came back to senses to narrate what i was going through. This brought anger in him that he scolded me to behave myself, as she is around us, watching our actions from up above. After about 10-15 mins i was able to control my emotions and was talking to her, pleading to visit me in my dream. To get some rest, i downed a glass of water and went to bed. Until the wee hours, i was in a disturbed state of mind, aware of the tossing and turning in bed. Woke up early in the morning and requested her to please visit me atleast once. With this internal-vibrational conversation with her i again went to bed.
It was some festival time at home and my mother was busy decorating the doorway with traditional rangoli. My father was busy receiving some old school mates of mine. The main door is totally damaged and am enquiring about it. This school mate, enquires about my child and passes his condolences to me. Worried about her loss, i don't care to talk to him too much, as i did not wish to rewind the sad past. I join my mother in her rangoli and return indoors for some food preparation. Here i see my daughter lying in the centre table amidst the chaos that is surrounding her. She is laid in a white loin cloth and sleeping after a lot of cajoling and pampering. Suddenly she jolts herself from sleep to the voice of her great grandmother, who is chanting some slokas. I scold my granma for chanting mantras so loud, the she woke up my daughter. Usually quiet and calm granma, shouts back at me and my daughter, thinking that she would pacify her back to sleep. To this, my angel pukes some milk, that she had before going to sleep. So i lift her to pacify and immediately she regurgitates all the food that she had had. I am so worried as she was already suffering from a bad cold and am pleading my mom to do so home remedies to stop this.
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| Waiting to hold her in my arms.... |
I am crying for help as my baby is in trouble. I cry out loud, that i woke myself from this beautiful dream of mine. I call this beautiful, as my daughter visited me. She has answered my request and also have proven to me that she is with me now. I am not going to worry hereafter about her well being, as she is in me and with me and my husband. Am yet to tell this to my husband, who only knows that my lil angel visited me in my dream. She has assured me once again that she never fails to be by my side, whenever i am in trouble and distress. Thank you darling, for you keep proving yourself that you are watching us and guiding us, even when this bad mama forgets to think about you.
